Can you Believe...?

I’ve been rocking Cagney to sleep every night since she was about 9 months old. But in the last 4 months she has just been falling asleep by Mark or me lying next to her. I didn’t give much thought to this, as I was just pretty happy with the fact that Bedtime wasn’t this huge rocking and shaking struggle with 20+ songs and stories. But the other day, Mark McConnell Jr. said, “Can you believe we may have rocked her to sleep for the last time already?” And my heart broke.

These days and weeks and years fly by. All those nights I became frustrated because it took too long to rock her are just a memory now and one day we will have physically “picked her up” for the last time too. So, I’m going to try my best to live in every inpatient moment. Whether it’s when she wants me to hold her while I cook dinner with one hand or hold her while walking through the grocery store even though there is an empty seat in the cart. Because reality is, she’s not going to need me to pick her up one day and I don’t want to not realize it until weeks later when my husband says, “Can you believe we may have picked her up for the last time?”